7 Butches Femmes Should Stay Away From


Have you put your love life on the back burner like Yours Truly? Just got out of a relationship and want to get back on the market? Do you want to start dating or are you looking for something serious?

Stay away from these “gentlemen”:

The great catch. When a butch talks about him/herself as a “great catch”, believe me, she is not. No matter what your situation is, don’t let any butch talk you into believing you should feel lucky because she has “chosen” you or treat you like she’s doing you a favor for dating you.

The one who carries her heart on her sleeve. At the beginning of your relationship you think she’s really sweet for opening up with you. Then you realize she won’t stop whining about her childhood traumas, her parents, her siblings, her grandparents, her great-grandparents, her exes, her exes’ relatives, her ex coworkers. Everyone has been so mean to her, everyone has done her wrong, and “getting over it” is not in her dictionary. If you say it’s time for her to move on or seek professional help, she’ll tell you that you’re trying to put her down and add you to her list of “bad, bad people who hate me for some unconceivable reason”.

The one with puppy eyes. She constantly says something inappropriate, behaves in a strange manner, disregards your opinion or wishes, forgets what you had talked about… and fixes everything looking at you with puppy eyes and using the tone of voice of a six year old talking to her mother. Her routine gets old after 5 minutes.

The one who won’t take no for an answer. She wants to go out for coffee, lunch or both and keeps asking and asking and asking and asking and asking thinking you will find this cute and give in. If that’s how she is just for a coffee date, imagine what a nightmare she’ll be trying to get in your pants. Not to mention that same sex rape exists and you don’t want to put yourself in that situation. RUN!

The stalker. You go out on a couple of dates and she shows up at your workplace. You RSVP for something on Facebook and she shows up playing dumb (“what are you doing here? What a coincidence!”). She emails you and starts sending you PMs/emails every 10 minutes letting you know that she’s waiting for your response. Remind her that restraining orders are NOT another way of saying I love you and you aren’t afraid to get one.

The fixer upper. With a substance abuse problem, in recovery, a dry drunk, socially awkward… the list goes on and on. You see her as a project and you think you can change her. Stay the heck away from her and seek professional help please.

The “any of the above + manipulator” combo. There’s certain behavior that bothers you, you bring it up and she keeps doing it. This type of butch can have selective memory (“you never told me that”… I have it in writing… “well I didn’t read that email, you never told me that”) or Old School syndrome** and will try to manipulate you into thinking there’s something wrong with you for not wanting her over the top attention (“what’s the matter? Aren’t you used to being treated like a lady?”).

** no offense/disrespect intended to any old school butches {love you, hit me up ; p} who, among other things, respect femmes’ wishes and know how to take NO for an answer.

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5 thoughts on “7 Butches Femmes Should Stay Away From

  1. BarbRyan says:

    Nice list. Speaking from experience? LOL – just kidding.

    I would add – The Promiser. She’s the butch who talkes a good game. She promises to make plans and do things, but always has an excuse why she can’t deliver or make good. The first few times, it’s easy to let her off and buy the excuses. But it gets old really fast and is just aggrevating and frustrating.

    • María Lapachet says:

      Thanks babe. Just added “The promiser” to a list of more butches and femmes to stay away from. Working on it and probably coming up before the end of the year. So far I have like 20 LOL

  2. Julie Cohen says:

    The Promiser, The Fixer, The Manipulator, The (dreaded) Stalker, The Heart on Her Sleeve, The Puppy Dog Eyes (never bought into that one), The “I told you NO!” Butch and of course the ultimate – who doesn’t want a “Great Catch.”

    I have dated them all Maria… Now tell me – Who is left? Can you please start submitting names to my FB or personal email account (of which you have). Oh GOD! What about the one that tells you they are in love with you and you haven’t even slept with them yet? Once upon a time, my gutters were dirty (on my house) – Many years ago! Do you know how many butches offered to clean my gutters (LOL) so – let’s drop the “Handy Butch,” too – especially those afraid of heights.

  3. SapphireDiva says:

    The Promiser, the Great Catch, the Stalker, Puppy Eyes and the Manipulator — been there, bought the tee shirt — sometimes several of them combined in the same individuals. Not cute 😦 …

    The Fixer Upper sends me running in the opposite direction nowadays — fast! I dated one of those back when I thought I could be with a man (I always knew deep down inside I wasn’t really, really straight.) I even inadvertently married one. Not again in this lifetime. Ever.

    My very first girlfriend was a combination Promiser/Stalker — talk about trial by fire! After we broke up she followed me all over the Internet. She even made up phony profiles on some websites where she deliberately duplicated some of MY information to get my attention. Very Twilight Zone.

    Oh yes, and that one Julie mentioned — the one who swears they’re in love with you when they barely know your name — been there too. BIG RED FLAG. Yikes!

    Luckily, I’ve never been with the one who can’t take no for an answer. That might be because if I have to say NO more than once I can be really intimidating without even meaning to be — LOL!

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