I’m an All I Want For Christmas Is You type of femme – spending quality time together is more important than anything a butch could buy me. I know it sounds cliché but the best gifts I’ve ever received were always free.
Here are 12 free gift ideas:
1. A handwritten love letter, poem or a song that you haven’t copied from a book or the internet. Granted, not everyone is a writer. If you don’t know what to say, keep it simple. A short note is better than 5 pages filled with empty words.
2. A CD with “your” songs or songs that make you think about her. If you are too cool for CDs, take her iPod while she’s in the shower and surprise her with a new playlist.
3. Kisses – her lips, cheeks, chin, neck, ears, collarbone, hands, palms, stomach, thighs, calves, ankles… were made to be kissed. When was the last time you spent hours and hours just kissing?
4. Staying up all night talking and watching the sun rise together, having breakfast in bed, and sleeping in.
5. Handmade coupons for a technology free night or weekend – meaning that you agree to turn off your cell phone, blackberry, laptop, iPad, iPod, and TV to give each other your undivided attention.
6. Handmade coupons for something she likes such as her favorite meal, warm bubble baths, sensual showers together, candlelight dinners (even if it’s just microwaving some Healthy Choice’s), a night of pampering (massage, mani & pedi included), etc. You can spice it up by adding a few sex coupons.
7. Handmade coupons for (a) something she hates doing – it can be chores (vacuuming, dishes, laundry, etc) or spending time with your family (give her free passes so that she can skip the next family gathering); or (b) something she likes but you hate – PBS documentaries, going to museums or plays, watching football, etc.
8. Watching the Food Network and cooking a meal together – free if we don’t count the cost of ingredients. If the femme is domestically challenged like Yours Truly, you can score BIG time by cooking while she watches and feeding her a little cheese, a little wine, and an olive here and there.
9. Watching Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse cuddled up in the sofa. If s/he doesn’t have a vampire fetish, any movie or series that s/he loves and you hate will do.
10. Holding hands – how is this a gift? I think I’m traumatized by the many butches who jump at you like tigers behind closed doors but walk 6 feet away from you in the streets. Let me assure you that I don’t have the cooties – it’s just the way they are! If you like or love a femme, show her. Don’t be afraid to be called “octopus,” “grabby,” “too touchy feeling,” or a “space invader.” Hold her hand, put your arm around her waist, hug her, and kiss her. Her ass won’t fall off if you grab it in public. If it gets a bit too much for her, she’ll let you know.
11. Romantic walks or drives to see the Christmas lights. Gain extra brownie points by packing her favorite snack and hot coffee or chocolate before you leave the house. It can be the perfect opportunity to play that CD or playlist you created for her (see # 2)
12. Commitment – no, I’m not suggesting you elope to Connecticut. By “commitment” I mean that you follow up on those coupons, don’t give her an attitude when she cashes in a favorite meal or vacuuming coupon, get your planners and sit together to pencil technology free time down in your calendars, add date nights and honor them just as you would honor dentist’s or any other type of appointments. May sound cold and mechanical but it will make your relationship work on the long run.