In my modest opinion, you can only know for sure if a butch or stone butch likes you when s/he tells you s/he likes you.
The problem is that, as women, many of us femmes have been brainwashed into believing that if a butch or stone butch:
– looks at us
– smiles at us
– tells us we look pretty
– holds a door for us
– casually holds our hand or touches us
– buys us a drink
– dances with us
– can’t take her eyes off of us
– emails a one liner
– forwards low carb recipes or feminist articles
– sends us a funny ecard
– gives/sends us a regular greeting/sympathy/Christmas card
– text messages or BBMs us
– pokes us on Facebook
– spends more than 5 minutes talking to us even if it’s just about the weather
– stops by to drop off some soup or our homework when we are sick
It unequivocally means that s/he likes us. If you are a sick puppy like Yours Truly, chances are that if the butch ignores you or treats you like shit, you will also believe that means s/he likes you; you will analyze every rude remark or socially awkward behavior, turn it around, and rationalize that it obviously means that s/he’s afraid to show how much she likes you because s/he’s been hurt in the past and s/he needs you to rescue or change her.
We convince ourselves that the butch we like not only likes us in return but also craves us, wants to date us, wants to marry us, needs to kiss/hold/lick/caress/spank/cane/flog us, and wants to put that turkey baster inside of us because, of course, we haven’t gone on a proper date but s/he already knows we are The One and wants to start a family ASAP. While all those possibilities start to take shape in our femme heads, in the real world that butch may just be feeling friendly or polite – or she may even be a touchy feely straight woman! (granted: with a few bad hair days in a row, but still straight).
So the next time you think someone likes you because you can see it in her eyes, talk to friends who tell it like it is (last thing you need is another crazy femme telling you a butch wants to marry you because s/he said your skirt was pretty) and rent He’s Just Not That Into You to keep you grounded. If the butch does indeed like you, let her say something and act on it because any femme deserves more than just a few stares, a pat in the shoulder, an invite to stop by her parents’ new winery or any other mixed signals s/he may be sending.