11 Things She’ll Never Tell Me

I’ve come to accept that She Who Shall Remain Nameless will never tell me…

– Can I buy you a drink?

– Why don’t we go somewhere more private and have dinner, just the two of us? (Super cheesy, I know)

– I won’t go home without you.

– I’ve got plans for you. There’s gonna be rope involved. And it’s gonna get dirty, wrong. Trust my hands. Trust my fingers.

– You need an attitude adjustment and it will be my pleasure to give it to you.

– What if I asked you not to see her again?

– Sorry I didn’t have the balls to take you home last night. You deserve a little better than me anyways.

– I like you because you don’t take any bullshit and you scare me for the same reason.

– I don’t know why you refuse to let me in. You just do. I have no intentions of hurting you. I want to protect your heart, not break it.

– I wouldn’t fuck you / date you / touch you with a ten-foot pole because of this, this, and this. (My life would be so much easier if she did!)

– “I feel very protective of you” and “Marry me, Bella” (yeah, the 14 year old in me is still totally obsessed with the Twilight saga).

It’s ok, though. My magic wand loves me!

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6 thoughts on “11 Things She’ll Never Tell Me

  1. Kyle says:

    You may not think you’re too good for her, but it’s pretty clear she’s not right for you. I think that if you have a list like that, and the list of things ‘done right’ is way shorter, the situation just isn’t right.

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