Why I want to be a secretary: Would love to work from the floor, address my butch/stone butch boss as Sir, wear light restraints, and get spanked because I don’t know how to make coffee.
Why I’m not a good fit for this position: I wouldn’t get much work done intentionally. He he!
Why I want to be a forensic specialist: after watching The Silence of the Lambs, The X Files, Law & Order: SVU, and every episode of Forensic Files, I feel the need to poke, probe, cut, open, and slice dead bodies.
Why I’m not a good fit for this position: it’s not that I’m not a good fit. It’s that you need to study for like 20 years to get a degree and the specialization and I’m plain lazy.
Why I want to be a FBI agent: I’ve watched one too many The X Files episodes. Do I need to say more?
Why I’m not a good fit for this position: When things got tough, I wouldn’t go after the bad guys. I would turn to my butch/stone butch partner and ask her if s/he wants to fuck. Hey if I’m going to die, I want to die happy!
Why I want to be a serial killer a la Jigsaw or Dexter: why not?
Why I’m not a good fit for this position: I have zero strength so I wouldn’t be able to lift bodies on my own, I get killer migraines (the smell of the blood and/or cleaning supplies could make them worse), and I shed more hair than a dog – with DNA testing and all I would get caught in 2 seconds.
Why I want to be a kept femme: it would be nice to have someone else worrying about paying the bills while I wrote, went to museums, got waxed, got manicures and pedicures, and left the kids with our Spaniard gay bio-male sitter (oh yeah, I have it all planned!).
Why I’m not a good fit for this position: my maternal instinct is on a permanent vacation and there’s only so much writing I could do. 8-10 free hours a day gives me a lot of time to get bored and sleep around.