TITLE: Happy Now
AUTHOR: Maria Lapachet
AUTHOR URL: http://www.marialapachet.com
GENRE/THEME: Butch/Femme Poetry
PUBLISHER: Cordoba Books
URL TO THE BUYING PAGE: http://www.amazon.com/Happy-Now-ebook/dp/B006RP2LO0/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_2
EXCERPT RATING: R
New York City-based poet Maria Lapachet writes in “Happy Now,” her new collection: “You spend all day online chatting with lesbians over 40, / Dishes waiting to be cleaned, food waiting to be cooked… / You can look online, get free newspapers, / Look for live-in landlords on Craigslist.” From there, we know the poet’s socioeconomic terrain isn’t necessarily confined on sexual politics—it’s simply a vivid, detailed account of urban-set relationships, which makes “Happy Now” an accessible, penetrable read.
“Happy Now” is all about soiled underwear, unattended dishes on the sink reeking with lo mein stench, unpaid Netflix bills, Sunday New York Times op-ed, and indolent, sociopathic girlfriends: “You are crying without tears, repeating your monologue / About how much you love me and how you will / Work on your issues (you really will). I’m thinking / About Scott Peterson and other wife-killers / Who cried without tears in front of the cameras.”
“Happy Now” is all about you and me, butch or femme, gay or straight, on daily skirmish.
I can see myself writing in my studio
While you get the kids ready for school,
Kissing you all goodbye and going back to my work.
I can see myself in our bathroom
Taking a hot shower with another woman
Rushing to our bed where she fucks me
Before you and the kids are back.
I can see us having a happy home in three years.
I can see myself cheating on you in five.
What’s the point of saying I love you when I don’t?
What’s the point of saying it if I won’t deliver
Whatever you need me to promise?
Other than faithfulness, you don’t want anything from me.
I’m not sure I can give you what you want.
I will never be untrue but I can’t be faithful.
I can give you cocktails on Cherry Grove,
Sex in stalls at LES restaurants,
Companionship at cancer walks,
A nice girl to go with you to corporate events,
Visits to Central Park and the Disney store, and
Sleepless nights where you’ll be alone wondering
Where the hell am I. I can give you that.
Is it time to be mature? Am I ready?
Could I spend the rest of my life with you
Knowing that there are butches out there
Who will find me attractive? Are you the one?
Are you the woman who’s going to make a difference?
You don’t know how to use a strap-on and,
You know, sex matters. Can’t get over how
You needed time to process the information
The first time I took out a dildo.
Do I see myself living with you?
Do I want to be the mother of your children?
Do I want to get into your spiritualism?
Do I want to see your face every morning?
Do I want to look the other way whileyou drink away the many years to come?
Do you really think I have no self-respect
And will end in a pity sex relationship?
You see an extraordinary, brave,
And bold woman. Who is she?
You see a motivated, no non-sense,
No holds barred, confident woman.
You see an attractive, intelligent,
Passionate woman. Who is she?
You see what you want to see.
I’m not your ex-wife. I won’t spend
The next twenty years with you.
We won’t go back to Fire Island next summer.
I don’t want to spend Thanksgiving
At your family’s. I won’t take you home with me.
I won’t marry you in Córdoba.
I don’t want to have your children.You see what you want to see.
After a seven hours first date,
A never ending dinner in Dragonfly,
You knew I was your true soul mate.
I believe I’m here to prove you
That there’s life after a divorce.
I’ll break your heart when you finally wake up.
You’ll see an extraordinary, brave, and bold woman
Walking away from you. You’ll get over it.
Next year, you’ll meet someone not as bold
Not as brave, not as extraordinaire
Who will understand you
Who will listen to your jokes and laugh
Without getting tired of the tone of your voice
Or your smell after you’ve been drinking.
Tonight your world is collapsing.
Next year you’ll be happy.
200 miles away from Houston you call
Saying you would fall in love with me
If you hadn’t already. Electrified and excited,
You whisper that I’ve given you more joy in three weeks
Than she gave you in twenty years of marriage.
I say you don’t need to trash her. Be fair.
Don’t put that kind of pressure on me.
I’m not perfect. You can’t possibly love me.
I hang up the phone wondering if you have been drinking.
You are almost in Houston in a truck full of pajamas,
Sweaty and short of breath, saying you love me.
I’m in someone else’s bed trying to decipher you.
You can download Happy Now from Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Happy-Now-ebook/dp/B006RP2LO0/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_2