Widespread Stereotypes And Misconceptions About Butches And Femmes

– If you ID as a butch or a femme, you are marginalizing and oppressing other lesbians.

– If you are a femme who doesn’t date or sleep with transmen, you are marginalizing and oppressing them (aka a TERF).

– IDing as a butch of a femme means you want to perpetuate heterosexual stereotypes about lesbians and repeat traditional relationship roles that put women down.

– All butches want their femmes in the kitchen.

– All femmes are lazy witches who want to be kept.

– To be a butch of a femme is just role playing.

– Breast binding is nothing more than a fashion statement.

– Butch cock is just a piece of plastic.

– Femmes who like butch cock are confused straight women just a step away from going back to bio-males.

– Butches and stone butches want to be men.

– Stone butches will grant you access to their genitals once you have gained their trust.

– If a stone butch doesn’t let you touch her genitals it means that she doesn’t love you.

– Stone butches eventually go down the FTM road.

– A real butch can’t be a bottom. A real femme can’t be a top.

– Butches are short, fat, ugly, chain smoke, and have drinking problems.

– Femmes are really bicurious women who won’t admit to it, don’t know it yet, or need a bio-male to fuck them right back to heterosexuality.

– Butch on butch or femme on femme love is wrong.

– Single butches live to cockblock each other.

– Single femmes live to steal taken butches.

– Butches are aggressive and femmes are submissive.

– All femmes are into cooking, baking, gardening, shopping, sewing, cleaning, and generally enjoy making their butch’s life easier.

– All butches are into drinking, smoking cigars, sports, cars, and love to be taken care of by nurturing femmes who act like their mothers more than like their lovers.

– By definition a femme cannot be a feminist.

– Butches are breadwinners. Femmes are gold-diggers.

18 thoughts on “Widespread Stereotypes And Misconceptions About Butches And Femmes

  1. –Butches are short, fat, ugly, chain smoke, and have drinking problems.–

    LOL… this makes me laugh! I love busting stereotypes, Ahhh, .. if I could show you a picture of me dressed up (in drag) My motto is, ..”If I have to be a girl, I might as well be a hot one!”
    I am Stone Butch to my soul, Lipstick by style. A lover of feminine essence in all forms and respectful of any expression of woman. I do enjoy your writting Maria.

  2. Oof. That’s a long list of painful stereotypes, and the sad part is it could probably be longer, right? Being the object of others’ ignorance and contempt really, really sucks.

  3. Brava for this post and for calling people on their misconceptions! As a pansexual Femme Domme who loves to shatter any and all stereotypes, I’d like to say I don’t care what others think but it’s still hurtful when you are confronted with this kind of ignorance. You pretty much expect it from “norms” but when it comes from someone you expect to be an open-minded ally, it’s hits closer to home.

    1. Agreed. Since you mentioned you are a Domme, something similar happens to me when I try to explain my BDSM cravings to vanilla friends. LGBT, educated, respectful, worldly… in theory very open-minded but in reality the anti-BDSM shit that comes out of their mouths is unbelievable.

      1. You’re so right about that. You’d think people who’s own sexuality has been misunderstood would be more willing to understand others, but that just doesn’t seem to be the case. Femme subs get the most negativity too, which is crazy because they are some of the strongest, most centered and self-aware women I’ve ever met.

  4. Sort of boyish, sort of bottomish, probably a submissive streak or two. My first fantasizes weren’t about being fucked by a woman, my first fantasizes were about being being bent over (nuff said) by another woman and I was 10 fricking years old!
    And I think femmes are hot. Butches are hot too. But thatmight be because I’m a horny dyke.

  5. If breast binding is a butch fashion statement, they can put it at the top of the list with walking through gravel in 6 inch platform stilettos. I\’m femme, almost all of my gf\’s did binding at one time or another. And I did drag for a while, and binding DDD, there is not a proper description of that pain.

  6. As someone who’s just emerging from my chrysalis as a big gay stone butchy butterfly this actually helped me a lot 🙂 I’m a pretty hard feminist too, but I get a bit of flack off my mates for “reinforcing gender roles” and “negative stereotypes” – the LGBT community aren’t all as free thinking as I hoped, maybe sharing this around will help people challenge their preconceptions.

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