Double-Dipping Butches


What is double-dipping? Double-dipping is when a butch (or a femme) is having her cake and eating it too. Sometimes you are in a relationship and she’s cheating on you (I’m not even going to go there, that’s an entire different blog post). Sometimes you just met, are getting into heavy flirting and sexting, and she doesn’t tell you that she’s doing the same thing with other femmes. Sometimes you are dating and she doesn’t mention that she’s dating other femmes. And of course sometimes she sleeps with two femmes the same night without telling either of the femmes that there is someone else in the picture.

Why does double-dipping happen? Because all you have heard about femme sisterhood is a big load of crap. Femmes don’t talk among us. I mean “really talk.” We share tips, send each other care packages loaded with glitter and all things Hello Kitty, exchange greeting cards, go shopping together, share books and clothes… but when we like a butch we don’t like to give specifics “to keep from jinxing it.” Translation: 50% of the time we don’t want to risk word of our liking a butch getting back to her because we don’t want her to know we are THAT into her, and 50% of the time we don’t want the other femme to get in the butch’s pants.

I have always heard that femmes should keep a black little book with info on all the butches (some butches believe we do!), but to this day there is no such a book and we keep repeating patterns. The same way than when femme A who likes a butch or stone butch doesn’t want to say anything to femme B because she doesn’t want to jinx it, femme B who may suspect that she is talking to the same butch femme A is talking to: (1) doesn’t want to give specifics to femme A to avoid any drama {after all for she’s just flirting and femme A – who met the butch right around the same time – is talking about building a life together}, and (2) doesn’t want to ask the butch point blank if she is flirting/sexting/talking to femme A because – if she is wrong – she will look like a crazy jealous person. She won’t win either way so she says nothing and wastes time deciding whether to keep flirting with that butch or move on to more honest butches.

And that, boys and girls, is how double-dipping butches get away with the shit they get away with.

Let’s see if some butches get the memo: it’s ok to be single and want to see what’s out there. It’s perfectly normal to get out of a relationship and want to fuck around with as many femmes as you can land until you get it out of your system. Just be honest about it. Don’t waste a femme’s time because you need someone to stroke your ego, can’t make up your mind or are afraid you won’t get any if you tell a femme that you slept with someone else 2 hours before you pick her up for your date. Believe it or not, some of us prefer a radically honest butch to one who is bored at work during the night shift, going through a midlife crisis, doesn’t know what she wants or simply lives in la la land.

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14 thoughts on “Double-Dipping Butches

      • mo says:

        Thats just slimy and disgusting. We want to be with people with integrity. Thats what we all look for. Why someone wants to behave in that manner..well it just shows their lack of self love, integrity, and every other good thing that we hope for in a mate.
        I wonder how they would feel if someone did the same to them?

      • mo says:

        Well all I can say to you is that there is alot of self loathing out there. And really ..all that is ..is self loathing. Because if you truly love yourself and respect yourself..you will treat people in the same way as you wish to be treated. You would WANT to be with someone who treats you in the same way as you expect to be treated. Move on beautiful lady. Life is too short to be with losers.

  1. Jay Tilman aka boobookitty says:

    ((grins)) .. haha,. heres to the radical concept of honesty! I am an honest Butch, I do not lie even to get to hold a femme’s hand. Somewhere in this world is a femme ‘mom to be’, who will value my honesty and integrity. (sigh) ..I haven’t even met her yet, but miss her….

  2. rmiles says:

    I’m already too worried about doing the single-dipping correctly that I can’t be bothered with double. Sorry to hear you had to go through that but kudos to you though, you sound like you know what you want and you won’t settle just so you can say you have someoe in your life.

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