Sorry to disappoint anyone expecting to read something deep like this. I’m stuck in the subway on my way to fotw’s pondering about lesbian erasure and our willing participation as a group.
I’m thinking about lesbian profiles allegedly created by and for lesbians on insta and other social media platforms. It’s disappointing and disheartening to see the token lesbian profile last a month tops before they add a line saying they create content for gay, bisex or trans women too. Other than internalized lesbophobia, someone please explain to me why a lesbian would call herself “gay” instead of “lesbian” because I don’t get it.
I can’t remember the last time I went to a lesbian bar. Despite what everyone outside NYC may think because of all the press they get, the so-called last three standing lesbian bars started letting in men of all varieties (bio and trans) years ago. I’m allergic to Brooklyn. I stopped going to one of the alleged lesbian bars in the city when I asked for a vodka soda and they gave me half Absolut bottle straight up in an overflowing red plastic cup. Before then I hadn’t gone in a good ten years as they had a problem with people knowing the Butch Femme Socials were being held there. I get dragged to the other bar from time to time where I see gay, straight and trans men mingling with lesbian, bisex, trans, queer and straight women. The more the merrier? Sure, but if everyone is welcomed, isn’t it a regular bar? Why advertising it as a lesbian haven?
I don’t think I’ve ever been to a lesbian book club. There’s always a wait list or they start discussing books by GBT and straight authors so I lose interest. I stopped going to most LGBT and even butch/femme parties because I don’t want to feel a dick rubbing against my back in the dance floor. I don’t care if it’s limp or hard, as long as it’s attached to a bio/trans male it makes me want to throw up. I’m a ray of fucking sunshine as you can see and I’m as surprised as you that I actually keep getting invited to places.
My heart breaks when I see gay women (God forbid you called them “lesbians”) that don’t fully understand our history and today’s issues, sharing news/articles that promote silencing lesbians and/or violence against lesbians in the name of “freedom of speech, trans women who have been murdered, genital area waxing for all (who cares about the workers’ right to say no and/or to choose whom they touch, right?), trans women who are systematically silenced by the LGB community”. The same gay women do not even flinch when they hear about lesbians being sent to conversion therapy and/or camps, being kicked out of their houses, being harassed at GBT/feminist events or lectures; being grabbed, spat on, hit, and even raped and murdered. And you don’t need to go to a third world country: it happens in our backyards too.
A Femme in NYC 