The Million Dollar Question

Every week ten to fifteen femmes get to this blog after googling “how to make love to a stone butch.” Three of my stone butch friends have been pestering me to write a blog post about it for at least a year. I’ve been deliberately delaying writing this post because:

(a) while it’s true that my milkshake brings all the stone butches to the yard, I don’t want to give away my secrets.

(b) I was secretly hoping some stone butch blogger would write the blog post saving me time, energy and (avoidable?) public humiliation {there’ll always be some asshole who thinks I don’t know what I’m writing about or am annoying}.

(c) There are tons of misconceptions around what it means to be stone butch and, since I’m not one, I’m afraid I’m going to make the problem worse. I’m sure there’s lots of individual variety. The essentials probably are a strong preference (sometimes even necessity) to top and that orgasms are not through genital stimulation.

The online literature on stone butches is a heap of extreme bullshit based on the usual M-F gender stereotypes. Of the few articles available, some have all stone butches being hard, exaggeratedly masculine, and emotionally unavailable. Others portray stone butches as freakish, mentally unstable women with a sexual dysfunction because they have a complete disconnect with one or more parts of their body. Most of my stone butch friends wish the lesbian community would stop spreading this shit and spitting it back in various forms. One of them even emailed a well known butch writer objecting to her writings on the stone butch subject and since then the butch writer has taken down most of what she had written/posted.

Making love to a stone butch (or fucking their brains out – stone butches get horny too and not all of them want a white picket fence) is about communicating desire. The femme who makes love to a stone butch shows her desire to be led, to be excited, to be given to, and to be taken to the stars. In my humble opinion, a stone butch is the most sensitive and attuned of lovers and there is nothing else in the universe like when a stone focuses on you. Whether it is a one night thing or a relationship, I tease and flirt initially, I look at them with desire, I find ways to show them that I am excited by them (caresses, kisses, licks, etc), and I hand over control of my body to them.

Contrary to popular belief, stone butches love to be touched, to be held, to have their faces and hair stroked and kissed. Face, neck, shoulders, back, hands… are “safe” areas. Sometimes the chest too. Yes, I’m not high on Diet Pepsi. Some stones like to have their tits licked, kissed, and bitten (just doublecheck with your stone or ask for permission before you bite {learned that one the hard way but that’s another story}).

Stone butches aren’t afraid of their bodies or inhibited about them – they just don’t work like a regular woman’s body. Stone butches experience orgasms in their minds and throughout the whole of their bodies. The thrill for them is touching a femme, exploring every part of our bodies minutely, more and more with each experience, feeling our every response when they excite us – the quickening breath, the tremble, and the shudder. It’s happening to them too – on the inside. In time they become so attuned that their whole body tingles and their mind explodes.

There are hundreds of little ways to communicate desire and to accept the desire of a stone butch. Use your eyes, hands, lips, and tongue to communicate your wants. Voice them as well – don’t be afraid to tell a stone butch you want them or you want them to do something “weird” to you. Stones want only to please and pleasure femmes. Be fully there in the experience. Let them take you where they want you: to the moon.